Out of the Mouths of 21st Century Babes

Libba and I played hookey on Tuesday to go to the orthodontist, and we really enjoyed some quality mommy-daughter time. I was thrilled to have a chance to have some meaningful conversations with my youngest daughter, just me and her. Because of a radio commercial reminding listeners that our taxes were due in just a couple of days, our chit chat started going in that direction. Of course, I was thinking, "This is great, Libba is finally old enough to understand some of the technical details of "the American way". Very shortly, she let me know exactly how much she really understood. She asked, "What does the government do with the taxes that everyone pays in April?" When I quickly replied, "The money is used to keep all of the states running", she stated, "Oh, I thought the people who have jobs paid the government so that people who don't have jobs can get paid and support their families".

The Best

From the moment that we discover we are going to have a precious little baby, thoughts bombard us. We ponder the gender, we try to guess the hair color, we attempt to will the unborn child's baby blues to stay the color of a Spring morning sky. Of course, there are also deeper thoughts...Will I nurse? Will I insist that my husband help out with the late night crib parties? Will I stay home to raise the baby? Will I enlist help, and continue with my own career? Will I be able to give our baby THE BEST of everything? At first thought, "the best" brings to mind a large house, private schooling, an Ethan Allen bedroom suit, perhaps a Mercedes Mini Van; but when one looks deeper into "the best", words like nutrition, spirituality, protection are brought to the surface.

We base our boundaries and expectations on different things. We do some things the way that our parents did them, and we do some things the exact opposite way. We set expectations based on what was or was not expected of us as well as the way our own child learns and responds to us. We set boundaries for our children based on common sense and common knowledge of the great and not so great aspects of our communities While we grieve for parents who suffer unforeseen tragedies, we also learn from them so that we can hopefully prevent any further tragedies.

To an almost 12 year old who has been given an opportunity to join her fellow middle school students and the Senior class of her school in a community outreach program, "the best" is defined as being able to participate...on a Friday night....at the Mall...in groups of 2-3 students... with the Principal in the same building, but not necessarily WITH her...meeting at the food court for supper at a set time. The operative words in this scenario are "an almost 12 year old".
All she understands is that her friends are going, and the Seniors are "good responsible kids" (which 99.9% of them are)...that they are actually doing something to positively influence our community. What she DOESN'T understand is that on most Friday nights, the Mall is busting at the seams with shoppers, diners, and movie-goers. In some places, it is harder to maneuver through the crowd than it is to go through security at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport at 6am on a Monday morning. All she knows is that Mom and Dad are over-protective, not that Mom and Dad only want "the best" for her.

Like many girls, I have wanted to be a Mommy since I named my first babydoll Mindy. Like many girls, I made sure that my husband wanted children well before our 6th date. Like so many, I planned my graduate studies so that I would be finished by the time my 2nd child was scheduled to arrive. I can honestly say that I began planning for my adult life when I was almost 12. I was in the 6th grade. That was when nothing could hurt me, I could do anything, and my mother was a pain in my rear. I am sure that on at least two (hundred) occasions, I proclaimed, "Well, I will NEVER tell my daughter that she can't go". That was my definition of "the best". Twenty six (and 1/2) years later, I am telling my daughter that she can't go. This is my NEW definition of "the best". Why did I change my mind? 'because I'm her MOM.